Lessons learnt

I dunno bout you guys, but I found out about this fact recently. I found out that...the more you want something, the more you want to cling on to it and never let it go, the more it's gonna get away from you.(not literally...) SAD, dontcha think?

If you really know that something's not going to belong to you, you just gotta let it go. No matter what. I'm not just talking about physical stuff or the stuff that can be exchangable with money. It's something that's a little more...complicated....If only the matter is that easy. If only money can be used for everything. If only money can be used to stop suffering, if only money can buy you happiness, if only money can buy you trust....That makes a lot of things easier, doesn't it?

But...hey! This is real life! Nothing is THAT easy. Yeah...well....I'm outta words now. Guess I'm gonna have to continue this some other time.

New Year's Coming?!

WOW!! I can hardly believe what I'm experiencing! Another year passed by..Huh! Just like That! It seems just yesterday I was counting down for 2006 and here I am now, stepping into another year, opening a new chapter of my life, ready to embrace the world! Ready world! Here I come!!

2007!! 2007,man!! Whoa. Time sure flies! In retrospect, 2006 had been such a dramatic year for me. Life was great at the beggining of the year But everything just fell apart like a house of cards by the time it reached the end of the year.My life was a total mess.Any how, I still thank God for his love and grace, for being with me through good times and tough times, for comforting me and giving me the peace in my heart when I was experiencing very tough times,for speaking to me, for leading me to PCC, for blessing me with all the goodness in my life.

I want to dedicate my love to the Lord Jesus Christ for everything,for blessing me with all the wonderful people at the church and in school.Among them are:

1. BELLE! Thanks for bringing me to this fantastic church and being such a great friend to me. I can never thank you Enough!What would I do without you? I can hardly imagine. Thanks for all the rides home,the supper, thanks for believing in me and thanks for all the prayers.I know I can come to you whenever I'm heavily ladened with any trouble.I must have done something very good to be blessed with such a great friend like you.Huggss!!

2.BENJAMIN!! Hey thanks for being such a good company to me. You're great,dude! Thanks for strengthening my faith towards God and sharing your experiences with me.Having you as a friend is such a blessing to me and I enjoy your company 24/7. Thanks a lot!Oh and thanks for the CD! Love the songs!

3.NOEL! You're sooo nice towards me since the day you know me and you're obviously more than just an amazing guy! Thanks for all your nice compliments and oo..remember the time you drove me to supper and I went off without having supper and without telling you that I was leaving? Haha..thanks for everything!

4.OLIVER! Yo! Thanks for teaching me a new word for supper called "supperder"(I'm not sure about the spelling) and for sharing the food with me! You're such a good pal and a fun guy to hang out with!You Rock!!

5.LESLIE! Yea yea...tell la..tell la...After all the bugging..haha...you finally gave in! Anyway, thank you for bringing me to ISCA and for all the wacky times.LOL!!

6.RACHEL(YEOH,OOI AND LIM), EMILY, MAY LYNN,XE HUI,SHARI, TABITHA......(hey forgive me if I did not write your names down..there are too many people!)Thanks for all the great and fun times we spent together.Love ya!

7.JOLYNN!!
Hey girl! Thought I forget about you? How could I? You're one of the nicest person I've EVER met in this world! Thanks for being there with me, through all the good and bad times. I know I can count on you no matter what.YOu'll be here first thing to give me all the support I need whenever,wherever.Thanks dude!! You've been soo great to me!HUGGS!!!

Last but not least..TZE LIN, JAVY!! Thanks for believing in me when no one else would and thanks for listening to me and for all the advices you guys gave.Ahh...Tze Lin! Thanks for sharing your music with me and everything! We've been in the same class for 4 years! Remember the times we did Disco in class? We just put some songs in the radio and boom! Saturday Night Fever! WAcky! Oh I'm so gonna miss all the crazy times spent with the both of you! Muax!!

So here goes all the dedication for the night.I'm really thankful for all the goodness in my life and I just can't wait to embrace 2007!!Something tells me that It's going to be a great year ahead!Thanks to GOD all those wonderful people I mentioned above, I'm still sane and I'm now stronger and tougher than ever!

The Fact Of Life

Ahh..New year's just around the corner and here I am, still slouching around, feeling like a junk of the century while others are busy preparing everything they need for a whole new year.For example my Dad's busy working on the company's account, my brother and lil sis are busy shopping for books and school utensils...

Yeah..I should probably go and look for a job rather than rotting at home day after day and be a couch potato for months to come.It's better for me to help the family to earn some extra income rather than spending it!

Which reminds me--looking for a job is NOT an easy thing to do,believe me. Now I finally realise that you can't have your dream job with just a mere SPM levelled certificate. I was planing to become a lab assistant but after walking around USM for the whole day,I can't seem to get a job. Irony, isn't it? They're actually hiring the university students. Hey, I would do the same thing if I'm the university's authority. Who would want to hire a high school graduate who barely even know about chemistry?(tho I know the stuff in my f4 +f5 syllabus)No fair!

There are 2 reasons why I'm interested in being a lab assistant:
1.I can learn more about college life
2.I can get recommendations from the profs. to a better college or university

Great!My dream's crushed and now what's left for me is to be a kindy teacher.I just love kids. Most of my friends chose to work at Queensbay. Yeah I can still put up with the noisy kids and I do not mind chasing after them but one thing I can't and never will stand is the picky customers! Ugh! Just the thought of it makes me want to slap those customers in the face! How can I force a smile at them while they're being nasty towards me? Service with a smile? No thanks. I'll probably get fired,first day at work.That's what my Dad told me.Yikes!!

Well, one more thing. I can take driving lessons...FINALLY!! Hallelujah!! Praise the Lord! I've been praying for this day to come and finally..Thank You Jesus! My Dad won't let this reckless thing drive around the town,(a.k.a yours truly) but after some Serious persuading( I mean,SERIOUS),he finally gave in.I know you always have a soft spot,Daddy! Haha!Guess that's it! Good night everyone!

Christmas Day!

Wow..Now to think of it, christmas day's almost over and I'll have to wait for another year for Christmas to come.Ahh..all these christmas spirit thingy just have to go(reluctantly).To me, Christmas is the most joyous holiday of all in the whole entire year! Hey,it's the Lord Jesus Christ's birthday!! Happy birthday Jesus!Oh boy! I just love the christmas carols!Guess it's time to let Christmas go and make a new year resolution.

A prayer

I don't get this.As I was listening to the music in the cold,empty living room,I feel this...sadness coming over me all of a sudden.It was so overwhelming and it was such a powerful feeling that it almost drowned me just now.What's happening?

Lord,
I come to You now,with my heart heavily broken.Please lead me to You O God.Even though I told everyone that I'm doing perfectly Ok, but You know it better than I do O Lord. I'm still not feeling any better.I'm hurt,O Lord.My soul cries out to You.Lord,heal me.Guide me to the right path.I need you Lord.

Lord,
I'm not happy about what's going on around me.I'm regretting every actions that I took.I'm so tired of this life.I'm weary O Father God.Why do my life has to be this way? I can't hold on to it much longer.The reason that I'm still surviving now is because I still hold on to Your word.You promised me that You will never isolate or forsake me.I'm in desperate need of Your guidance,O Lord. Search my heart,tell me what should I do,O Lord,to continue with this life.I feel like a loser,a pathetic human being.Nothing seemed right for me.Each step I take is going to end up with tragedy.I do not want to hurt the people around me.Lord,I do not want them to suffer because of the sins I've commited.I do not want to wear another mask anymore.I can't pretend for much longer.I'm falling apart.

Lord,
Only You know what's happening to me.Only You can understand how I feel right now.I feel so betrayed,so frustrated,so bitter! Why,O Lord,when everything seemed to go right,it just has to go straight downhill for me?I'm in pain,Lord! I do not want to have high hopes for practically anything else,and watching it fall apart at the end of the day.I do not want it to be this way anymore.When will I forget about this?When will this come to a complete stop? Whenever I'm alone in quietness,my past will come back to haunt me.Lord,How can I overcome,how can I cope with this?Lord,please come to me,and heal me.O Lord!I'm at my wit's end.Show me a way Lord!

Lord,
I do not want to live my life to please anyone.I do not want to live my life for anyone else.I feel so empty.My life is hollow.I feel like I can't trust anyone any longer.After what she did to me,I often wake up in the middle of the night,having dreams about the betrayal she commited.SOmetimes I really feel like giving up on the whole thing,but I just couldn't.

Lord Jesus,
I know that I can put all my faith in You.Forgive me for I took back all the problems from You.Come to me,O Lord!Speak to me,tell me the right move.Hear this broken heart Lord,that cried out to You.Hear my cries. Heal this wound and help me not to remember anything from that incident,ever again,for I,did not give up on our friendship.You know the truth and You know it well.I can't bear hearing another accuse thrown in my way,for I did not do it! I did not do anything to hurt my friend,and yet,Lord, why is she doing this to me instead? I do not understand this! Help me Lord! Give me the strength to move on with my life,O Lord! I know that I can come to You and to depend anytime and anywhere.
Thank You Father.

In the mighty name of Jesus,
I pray,
AMEN!

Make an effort people!

I came across this ad when I was watching the big dumb box at home today.Since the SPM's over and since I have nothing better to do than rot in front of the TV set,so..yeah. This is where the whole thing began.The ad goes like this: Slim down to several inches without a single effort! Yes you heard right! With 0 effort,you can go from this(the picture taken before) to THIS!(the new,slimmer picture)

Then I thought to myself. People living in this 21st century are too pampered.People are becoming lazier and lazier as time goes by.They want to do things(which are tough to achieve)without making ay effort.To me,slimming down takes no shortcut. You'll have to maitain a strict diet, stick to vegetables and fruits and cut down on oily food such as fast food, and prolong your hours of excercise in the gym.We have to make one or two sacrifices every once in a while in order to succeed.It's the people like them(people who don't want to make any effort at all) that keep enterprisers like them(the slimming centres and the slimming pills company) in business.

The Lord Jesus Christ sacrificed Himself at the cross for us,human beings to set us free from sins for all of us are sinners.The Heavenly Father sent his only Son,Jesus Christ to die for us.Like I said,there is no such thing as shortcuts.The power of the Lord is powerful enough to free all of us from sins.He could've just take a shortcut to set us free from sins. Why did He go through all that trouble? It's because the Lord loves us.He cares for us! See? Even the great Lord had to make a sacrifice for us.Why can't we just take the necessary steps and make a little sacrifice to achieve our goal?Make an effort!Remember, Success does not come to you if you just sit there and do nothing, you MUST go to success!

Learn to live or live to learn?

This question hit me when I was about to go to sleep last night. Do we live to learn or do we learn to live? Well, it depends on the different point of views. To me, we,human beings learn to live.Why do I say that? You may ask.Ok.Lets see..we learn to walk and talk in he early stages of our lives in order to live.We learn all the lessons that makes us stronger,tougher to face the challenges in life as we grow.Although we may face a lot of circumstances that weaken us and make us feel that we can't hold on to it much longer, we learn in the whole process.

Let me share one of my experiences with you.I brokeup with my best friend,whom I trusted and shared all my life with just a few days before SPm.Why? This was merely because I found out(accidentally) that she was disloyal to me. She stabbed me behind my back and told lies about me and the worst part of it is, she's quite influential in school.She told a whole different story to the whole school so that she can make me look bad while her,looking angelic and innocent at the same time.I,however,faced a tough time for people believe in her twisted story and they accused me of doing things that I swear I did not do without finding out the truth. This was absurd.She reared her ugly side by telling everyone that I am a mentally disorder person and I can't survive without theraphies every single day. What the heck?! She even blocked me in Friendster.com and she blocked me in the MSN messenger.I was so hurt at that time and I couldn't concentrate in my SPM.Thanks to the Lord, he healed me by wrapping His arms around me when I was crying in the middle of the night and guided me by telling me what to study for SPM.From this incident, I've learnt that we can't trust a person completely and from then on, I am transformed into a stronger and tougher person.My realtionship with God was brought closer.

I came to know the Lord when I was in desperate need of help last year. Thanks to Aunt Theresa who taught me all I need to know for christianity, I'm now a more confident and a tougher person, for deep down inside of me, I know that The Lord will be with me,guiding me in my times of need.Just have faith in Him and he will guide you to the path that He has laid for you!Praise The Lord!AMEN!!

God Bless!!