what should i do

Two of my besties are transferring to ATC next sem.. I do not want to leave PTPL.. i really do not.. and i want them to stay with me as well.. sigh.. Guess i can't have my cake and eat it too, and i guess.. trouble would not stay away from me. No peace. There are several reasons why i do not like atc

1. the location

hello? that place is packed. Even if i drive i dont know if im able to find parking. aihhh

2. The people

Lets face it. One of the main reasons is because they are there.. I do not need people labelling me as a "bitch" or some other name.. namely "fake", from some misunderstanding 2 years ago. I just want to be loved. I love it in PTPL. I feel belonged.. i feel loved.. mainly because of my classmates. I love Alicia and Ann.. They are my really good friends. I cant bear to leave them. My lecturers are awesome. I love Kevin.. He's my ultimate favourite, despite the constant teasing. lol. I like him even more than Siraj. (not more than a lecturer duh!!) I love Jane.. I really enjoy her class a lot.. I love the college. I love everything about it despite the somewhat old facility.

Monday morning.. before Kevin's class i was bombarded with the information Ann gave me: they confirmed that they both.. wanted to transfer to ATC. I was in a state of shock. I couldn't concentrate. I was trying to hold back my tears. I wanted to cry. Well in the end i did. All i asked was WHY?

The other day.. during sem break i met Alicia in Chilis.. When she told me that she was having thoughts about leaving, i prayed to God.. I told Him, please.. God, please do not take them away from me. Do not take my good friends away from me. Please.

But in the end, He did. Its not decided yet but GOD PLEASE! DON'T. MY FRIENDS ARE LEAVING ME. 1 BY 1. Im so worried that after they went to ATC, their perceptions would change towards me. I'm terrified. Im scared that after they went to ATC, they would listen to rumors and change their perceptions towards me. God, I know i haven't come to You for a long time. I know that I've backslided. I never go to church anymore. But God, do You understand why i did not go?

God, please.. I only ask of You for this. Please.. Grant us some loan so that they wouldn't change their mind. Please.. I beg You!