mom, please be alrite

gosh.. im writing just seconds before leaving the house

MOM, please please go thru this surgery SAFELY.. been praying a lot

you'll be fine mom..

but why am i worried?

God, please look after her, protect her from any harm and please bring her back safely

this family needs her

without her as the pillar, everything will fall apart

thank U God, for everything.

I ask and I pray that the surgery will go well

I put all my faith in You

In the name of Jesus

Amen

cant get over you.. 2010.. help me

its 2010, i cant get over u yet.. why r u leaving such heavy scars in my heart? wound is slowly healing up, but it still hurts everytime i think of you..

i might never forgive you of what you did, but i still do miss you.. thats why i cant forgive you??

i have no idea.. why cant i forget about you like you did forget about me??

Friends come and go, and you left footprints in my heart.. along with a knife at my back.. that, hurts the most despite how much i looked out for you.. how much i loved you as my friend..

grown up

Im a kid at heart, just like the great Michael Jackson used to quote..

Grown a lot, suffered a lot, laughed, cried, played..

God was so gracious for everything! i mean, He's my shepherd.. my Guide, my Father, my best friend, my all.. However, i feel guilty for not surrendering everything to Him, for not obeying Him, for all those sins that i've commited. I am ashamed to see Him, I'm too afraid.. i wanna be His favourite, but I've hurt Him.. I've lost his trust, i dont go to Him anymore.. it will take a lotta courage for me to step into church again.. for sure.. but i really dont know how yet.. until 1 day... 1 day when im ready.. 1 day

been betrayed again this year, trusted in wrong people, but i will never stop loving! thats what i mean.. i wont.. Yes, i admit, i've been hurt, i've suffered, but through that all, i realised that i need people being there for me when i was goin thru all those.. therefore, i wont give up! i continue to grow, love and give out all the love i could give to everyone, especially to those who will be going through the same thing i do!

skeletons in closet?

OMG! i just found out that someone i know has a very very huge skeleton in his closet!

well

not gonna reveal much, but how could HE, how could he have a double life?

pretend to be someone else in Malaysia, then be another person somewhere else?

what about his gf in penang while he's in his home town?

what bout his home town gf when he's in penang?

NO WONDER he never uses his real name when he's here

Gosh.. omg i shouldnt have bug into people's business

Hehe.. but its so surprising that i played detective and found out

and i consider that an achievement? well noone reads this blog anyways so

here it is!

how do i feel?

Blogging

Well.. this blog is called the room for improvement, but it seems like i dont make any improvements at all.. The same thing happens again and again and again..

Backstabbers, misunderstandings, anything! Beware man.. I mean those things really cut you deep from the inside out and there is no cure for the broken heart.. Chocolates? Hmm.. Not really.. Lol!

These days i really learnt my lesson.. Cant really trust a person.. And put your100% feelings into something.. This will destroy you.. Come on.. look at my past.. Now i alr learnt to let go.. I really wanted to talk to them back, but well.. They do not seem to be interested in it at all... Im changed.. Now im emotionless. Cant feel any pain, any hurt, any anger now.. I alr forgiven you all, and i hope that you guys will do the same as well.. Holding grudges taught me something.. Yeah, revenge is sweet, but it eats you up inside. You will get consumed by the power and somehow.. I have no idea how to solve this.. Yeah.. now i AM fake...

I dont do anything wrong, but at the same time i had to avoid you all.. Come on. Wht have i done wrong? Yeah i might have some misunderstanding with someone, and along the way i dragged u all with it.. So what? I really misunderstood one person and now you all punish me for MY misunderstanding with someone else?? Thats just brilliant.. Ido not want any part of the friendship if you guys are like that.. I quit! Unlike you, this blog is very personal, so noone can come and see.. Unpublished sanctuary of myself. I do not go around yelling and screaming how you did me wrong like you did in facebook and plurk. Grow up man... I did not did anything wrong to u all. treated u all likemy own sisters and now you hate me becus of my misunderstanding with someone else? Wow how brilliant!

history is repeating itself again

Haizzz.. wad to do with my life!! Im always faced with this kinda prob.. It sucks being me

All these happens since i was at the end of form 5, NS, JMTi, and now PTPL also

Why do people always regard me as the "bad" 1? I really do care for them, love them as my own friend. Some even my sister. But hell, they always listen to somebody else and decided to boycott me. What did i do?
Why the hell to they listen to other people? If they were truly my friend, they should stand by me and believe in me

When u see an indian and a snake, u should beat the indian 1st, for they are the worst of all and they do more damage to you then 100X100000 snakes combined. He spreaded slander about me, making me and my friends fall apart...

My bf doesnt even understand me for who i am. This person did so much damage to me alr, but he still wants to keep on being his friend. This "friend" of his already do me so much damage.. He still wanna be his friend.. I dun understand why! Really suck it i tell you.. it seriously sucks so much!